Choosing Civility

I am taking an Honors class called Communication, Civility, and Leadership.

The class is discussion based and we sit around talking about real life situations. It's taught by a dean in the Human Sciences building who used to travel around the nation teaching seminars on this subject. At the end of every class we do some sort of exercise, meant to tune us into the world around us. Once our assignment was to simply people watching for about an hour in the Student Union, and write down our observations. I love this class.
Among other activities we've also had to make eye contact with everyone we can as we walk across campus, pay attention to the small things, and practice the art of giving and receiving compliments.

I can't believe this is an Honors class. It's everything one could ever hope for in a class. It reminds me of Theory of Knowledge.

Our out of class reading right now is a book called Choosing Civility by J.M. Forni. It talks about how we act as a society, as a globe, and how we interact. It discusses civility and the different ways we exhibit it. There are so many social rules and cues that we go through on a day to day basis. One part I particularly enjoy-- the discussion of how we as a technology driven society have lost the ability to communicate well. I've talked about this in previous posts. We use E-mail, instant messaging and text messaging as a smoke screen to keep from getting too emotional about anything. We walk down the street and look at the ground as we pass another person. The book discusses 25 different "rules" of civility, that we should all work into our daily lives. Most of these things are things we've all been raised with-- table etiquette, the golden rule, the value of listening, etc.

I've just stayed up all night writing a paper concerning my opinion on a rule of my choice. I chose one that many people overlook-- Respect Even a Subtle "No". The book discusses how often we choose to ignore people's signals of negativity and question them brutally for a reason when they decline an invitation or don't want us around. I talked about how we ignore the signals because a "no" gives us a sense of whole rejection. Rejection of who we are as people. But by selfishly satisfying our own needs we negate others and belittle them. The author suggests that by simply accepting "No" without qualms can be one of the most civil things we as humans can do. It not only shows strength and respect on our part but it gives the receiver a sense of existence, they feel like their needs are being met. I made personal references to myself interacting with my friends and family. I sometimes get so caught up in the idea the the people I love share my interests and needs exactly, that the incivility runs rampant.

As far as the class goes for me, I feel like I'm different in public. I see SO many more people I know during the day and take the time to sit down and talk to them and ask them how things are going. I've met tons of new people these past few weeks, just by being kind and listening. Sometimes that's all you need to make someone's day, and yours. It's a pretty badass notion, because it's so easy! But you have to think about it first. I think as children, we had all of the manners hammered into our heads and were reprimanded if we didn't adhere to them. But as we grow older, we have no one but ourselves to keep us in line, and we get caught up and throw all caution to the wind.

And my prof says I smile more. haha :D